Six Signs You're Dating A Narcissist

A friend of mine was trapped in a relationship with a narcissist for many years. Although there were red flags initially, the man’s charm and charisma convinced her to overlook “a few faults.” Within a year, she was experiencing verbal and emotional abuse, which only worsened over time. 

Through the support of friends, she was eventually able to leave the relationship and move towards healing. Although her past was difficult, she now finds purpose in helping other women recognize and escape narcissist companions. 

Defining Narcissism

Narcissism is “extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them.” Whether you suspect that you are in a relationship with a narcissist or you simply want to be armed with knowledge, the following are six narcissistic traits. 

What to Look For

1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance 

Narcissists believe that they are set apart and can only associate with other special or high-status people. The fact that this person finds you special and, therefore, “worthy,” makes you feel flattered at first, so look closely at how they treat and talk about those of perceived “lesser” taste or lifestyle. 

2. Need for excessive admiration

Admiration is a narcissist's drug of choice. Because they crave the validation of others, they may dominate conversations with stories about themselves and their accomplishments.

3. Sense of entitlement

Narcissists believe that they are better than others and deserve special treatment. How does your partner react when they’re given a boundary or told “no”? Narcissists don’t believe the rules apply to them and can become abusive when their desires are denied. 

4. Interpersonally exploitative behavior

Narcissists use people to get what they want. They may seek to control through -  

• Gaslighting - distorting the truth to instill doubt in the other person. 

• Verbal abuse -blaming, criticism, judging, name-calling, or threats.

• Manipulation - controlling a person to get what you want.

• Withholding - money, affection, communication.

• Isolation - cutting you off from family, friends, and support. 

5. Fragile self-esteem

Although narcissists act overly confident, their vibrato is an overcompensation for deep insecurity. Gaining praise and approval is a form of self-medication. When faced with even the slightest criticism, a narcissist often becomes enraged, sullen, and moody. 

6. Lack of empathy

A common trait of narcissism is an inability to empathize with others. They struggle to see how their actions affect people, which causes them to evade responsibility for their actions. Blaming and deflection are common defense mechanisms.

In Closing

If you feel trapped in a relationship with a narcissist, you're not alone. First, seek trusted counsel - a wise friend, counselor, or leader. They will help you verbally process and give an unbiased perspective. If a relationship has turned abusive and you fear your partner, you can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741 or the National DV Hotline by texting Start to 88788.

The friend I mentioned is now living a healed life and leading others towards freedom. Your story’s not over, and there is hope.  Take courage, friend. 

If you are in an unhealthy relationship and think you may be pregnant or are considering an abortion, contact us for free services and support. We’re here to walk alongside you. No judgment. Just care.